What you know that you don't know

A story from one of my favorite New Yorkers: So when I first get on the train it's just me and a few other random, quiet people. At the first stop a crew of guys who look like they're probably construction workers get on. It doesn't take long to realize they're hammered, and there's one in particular who's rowdy, yelling random nonsense, just causing a mild ruckus. This is annoying, but fully manageable. Then, a dozen college age kids get on. Instantly they prove that the drunk construction workers are like Buddhist Monks compared to them. They're that group that fully makes the sober version of me never ever ever want to take another shot as long as I live. Of course they have a ringleader too, and he's not even funny, just loud, rude, and totally vile, grabbing tits, humping the girls he's with, just being so annoying I wanted to smack him across the face. And of course, the two separate groups of drunk assholes begin having a "conversation" which sounds more like rival gangs of deaf old men without their dentures yelling inaudible slurs at each other. This would be manageable despite one glaring problem: I'm stuck right smack in the middle of this gin-soaked mess and I can't get out. To the left of the college bastards is the end of the car, and to my right is the group of construction workers who, without a doubt, would have definitely started in on me if I walked past them to get to the other side of the train. As it was, the only thing I had going for me was remaining under the radar. So I just sucked it up, blasted the iPod, and spent 40 minutes at 2:30 in the damn morning, sober, surrounded by loud sloppy drunken fools. The moral of the story: next time I feel compelled to drink like a war vet, I can invoke this mental picture and immediately put down the shot of whiskey in favor of a nice tall glass of ice water!